Thursday, June 28, 2012

Midwest

Newport, TN-->Memphis-->Oklahoma-->Austin, TX

Sunday, May 20th, 2012

I watched the sun set over the Mississippi River in Memphis and the new frontier of my life. Lonliness began to sweep over me with no friends to talk with. I had chosen to treat being alone as a challenge to learn how to be with just myself. I realized that no one I've yet met makes me feel fully whole, not even myself.

After waking up at 6:30am to bright sunlight radiating through my tent, I packed up and left my vacant lot turned campground by 7. I drove the 8 or 9 miles out to Graceland and caught a glimpse of Elvis' home and gravesite before continuing along my route through Arkansas to Oklahoma.

My car started overheating while in Arkansas and has made me increasingly anxious about what would happen were I to break down along the road. I pulled off at an exit in Arkansas and a man at a body shop took a look. He poured some water into the radiator reservoir. Doing so seemed to help the engine from overheating, at least for the time being.

I arrived in Oklahoma and it was not the rolling prairie land that I had expected it to be. Sadly the landscape was not very foreign to me, just large pastures separated by woodland, much of what I'm already used to seeing in any country area in any given state. There are however small oil rigs sparsely dotting the landscape, reminding me that America still has some resources after all. On Thursday I just laid around by my friend's pool at her parents home. We got burgers at Johnny's and watched her father and sister shoot skeet in the evening.

By Friday morning I was ready to get out to OK. My route to Austin was hot and sweaty and I was glad to get a shower upon my arrival. I saw a very humbling feature along the way, the Texas Motor Speedway. It stretched out along the horizon like a stadium out of starwars and it was the largest piece of architecture I have ever seen with my own eyes. It resurged my feelings of hatred towards American culture, where we waste gas and watch cars race around an arbitrary loop.

My friend's place in Austin is very new, comfortable and echoey; her dog lives there which is a nice reminder of home.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

On My Way

Baltimore --> Newport, Tennessee

Tuesday, May 15th, 2012

The feeling that I am losing due to traveling cross country is the subtle change from Spring to Summer. This morning I awoke in the backseat of my car on the side of a country road. I had created a makeshift awning over my head with a few paintings propped between the headrest of the front passenger seat and the headrest for the back seat. I sat up wide eyed and proud, almost astonished of my accomplishment of not being raped and murdered during my first night alone. Smiling to myself, I opened the back door and stepped out of the car. The sound of crickets in the tall grass of the field next to me made me feel as though I'd teleported from Spring to Summer overnight.

I left Baltimore in a bit of a rush. I'd been convinced to wait to leave until Tuesday, then plans fell through Monday night and I decided to head out around 8pm that evening. The night before I had slept at my friend's new place which they call the granny house or something along those lines. Nothing in the apartment has been updated since the 1970's. I'm talkin' a huge wooden print microwave, wall to wall carpeting upstairs and down, a pea green bathtub, anyway, it's quite the place. I dallied around while everyone was at work and watched Starwars Episode IV.

Needless to say after my dull afternoon I was feeling restless. So I grabbed happy hour with a friend at Golden West, and then got out of dodge. I was on a mission to Tennessee. In the town of Newport, parked outside of a barn in the middle of a horse pasture sprinkled with buttercups sat an old Chevy truck, filled with a friend of mine's belongings. The duty that I chose to accept was to transfer the belongings from her truck to my car in order to deliver them to her in Oklahoma City. I arrived at 5am Tuesday morning. After a fairly extensive search, I was able to pull off into a breakdown lane and take a nap. Three hours later I awoke, ready to complete my errand.

I got to the pasture with no one to greet me but for a friendly yet anxious dog. As I crossed under the electric fence and through the pasture to the truck, the horses became curious of me. While lugging the first armload of things from the middle of the field to my car, the horses followed, then surrounded me. "Who are you and what is your purpose here, stranger?", they seemed to ask with their behavior. "I belong here, I have a job to do", I responded with a SHhh sound and a swish of a trashbag. After that they allowed me to make several trips without interrupting me.

Today I drove from the pasture to Memphis after a quick bacon, egg, and cheese bagel at Waffle House (sub-par). The treck took about 7 hours and I found a cheap vacant lot turned campground to sleep at for $16. I drove from there to downtown Memphis where I am now sitting on a hillside which slopes steeply into the Mississippi River. A few steamboats are visible to the south and I feel like I've finally made it to a more foreign land within my own country.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Baltimore

Baltimore

Sunday, May 13th, 2012

So far my stay in Baltimore has been a bit of a blur. This could be due to the fact that I've been here for a few days and instances become less memorable, or it could of course be all the drinking. Upon finishing my previous entry I received an invitation from my friend to have a drink. So I went over to his place and felt much classier than I should while having a beer on his balcony in Mt. Vernon. After that we went and waded in the fountain by Washington Monument and had happy hour at a divey gay bar. Later on we headed to Mt. Royal Tavern with and slew of other friends from college and post-college. The Tavern usually sponsors a fairly diverse crowd and I can appreciate that in Baltimore. I've been staying at my friend's apartment in Remington. Staying there reminds me of my initial arrival in Baltimore when I crashed in Hampden for three weeks at my friends place before finding a job back in 2009. The lack of city sounds and bright light in the mornings makes me feel like I'm staying at a cottage near the beach instead of being submerged in the pavement and row houses that actually exist outside. I often find myself looking out windows to confirm that I am not in fact on Cape Cod. It's a beautiful feeling, even if the scenery isn't how I mentally perceive it.

Yesterday a friend and I drove out on 40-West to Patapsco State Park and went for a short hike. As we passed through the long meadow corridors created by power lines, I liked to imagine that if one were to follow the path created by the lines, they would continue on until they get all the way to the coast, let's say to somewhere in Florida.

Last night I saw the Matrimonials preform with their new drummer. Though the gusto of the old drummer is missed, the band sounds really tight. Seeing that band brought me back to the Summer of 2010, playing beer pong, being rambunctious in bars, and making day trips to places where we could go swimming.

But Baltimore is different for me now. Instead of being constantly surrounded socially, I often find myself alone in my car being homeless. I don't mind being by myself, it can be a welcome escape here. I noticed that I find myself moving around a lot, since my home base is also my vehicle. Speaking of which, I think I'll make a trip to Prettyboy Reservoir now. The cornfields are calling.



Thursday, June 14, 2012

East Coast

Newton, MA-->Noank, CT-->Centralia, PA-->Philadelphia, PA-->Baltimore, MD

Friday, May 11th, 2012

I just arrived in Baltimore at 1:30pm. I'm hungover and hot and tired. On Wednesday I departed from Newton and drove to Noank to visit a dear friend of mine. My last day of working at a barn mucking stalls and dog walking was, as my mother suggested it may be, "surreal". I handed my cat, Edwood, over to a nice woman that I work with at the barn. She's going to but Edwood up until November free of charge so I am certainly grateful for that.

Noank was cozy. my friend was house sitting so I slept in the master bedroom of a strangers' home. That night I sang/yelled at the ocean. I am going to miss the open water, or at least feeling a subconscious proximity to it.


On Thursday I drove from Noank to Centralia after purchasing a small propane stove and some pots and pans for the road ahead. Centralia is a ghost town that began to fall in on itself in the 1970's when a coal mine caught fire beneath the land. The former town continues to smolder to this day. The rubble is mostly cleared away and vegetation has begun to overtake the streets and lots where houses used to be. I drove up a road until it became a dead end where the paved street became a grassy path. After stopping and emerging from my car I walked along the path a ways. It seemed to continue onward and I began to feel an eerie discomfort with the thought that the woods in which I was surrounded used to be a neighborhood.


So I turned back, re-entered my car and drove around the block and up a hill that seemed to be piles of dirt pushed upon the burning land in an effort to put out the fire below. I exited my car once again and ran from peak to peak on the hill in order to get a better view of the surrounding area. To the east was an existing coal mine, which essentially looked like a charcoal mountain. In the distance to the west, a wind farm. The dichotomy of these two features gave me a rushing sense of the transitional world in which I live. Looking down at my feet I suddenly noticed that the earth was smoking from several holes on the hilltop where I stood.

Gazing into the possible abyss which are these smoke-spots, one can imagine the coal down below continuing to burn. Someone told me that they put an entire train into the mine in an effort to smother the burning coal, though this tactic apparently did not succeed in its mission. Returning to my car, I drove down the functioning street that still runs through the town. I was almost on my way along when I noticed another wide street that veered off to the right and had been barricaded with a mound of dirt, thus preventing vehicles from traveling down it (or even noticing it). I pulled off to the shoulder, exited my metal box once again, and proceeded toward the road.

A path to the street had been carved through the dirt barricade over the years where curious tourists like myself had gotten acquainted with Centralia. Once past the obstacle, I saw that the street was four lanes and dappled with graffiti, gradually sloping downward. Where the median once was now sprung many small trees and shrubs. I continued along until I made out two figures in the distance, puttering around a fault line in the street. As I approached, I found that the crack was about four feet wide by twenty feet long. In a flash I was brought back to the incident of the mine collapse, and to when the decision must have been made that the earth was no longer sound enough to harbor residents here. When I'd had my curiosity's fill, I returned to my car and proceeded along my route to Philadelphia.

I was able to stay with a friend of mine and we went to see my other friend play in her band at Trucadero Balcony. She had greatly improved at the base since the last time I'd seen her plucking around on it. It would be hard to classify the sound of the band, but if I had to put a label on it I'd say hardcore rock/angry girl band.

After the show, I met my childhood friend at a go-go bar called Trussel Inn. It was incredibly refreshing to see someone from my upbringing who is also leading an alternative lifestyle. We danced in the back of the bar to swing-type music and intermittently sat outside on a stoop smoking cigarettes and contemplating the different paths one can choose to take in their lives. When we finally parted ways things were hazy. My friend and I took a cab back to his place and we called it a night.

This morning I woke up at 8:30 and felt the need to continue along the road. I drove into Baltimore via 40-West for quite a ways after stopping for gas. The McDonald's drive through had just changed its menu from breakfast to lunch as I pulled up, so I went without my sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. I got to Baltimore with everyone I know at work or unreachable, so now I am sitting in my car on Miles Street, empty bellied, and beginning to lose hope that my friend with magically appear from one of the houses on either side of this unshaded street.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Pre-Journey in Boston

Newton, MA
Sunday, May 6th 2012

On Thursday I will embark on a month long journey across the country and specifically the southwestern states to work as a Trail Guide at Yosemite National Park in California. This statement, upon being written, seems as if from an earlier, simpler time. Most college educated twenty-something women are not doing similar excursions. For that reason I feel both unique and alienated from mainstream society.

For the past 5 1/2 months I have been employed as a Dog Walker in Boston, MA. This is also the location of my upbringing, yet I no longer feel that the place maintains the sentiments of "home". This loss of home is an uncomfortable yet liberating realization, and therefore I cannot wait to be as free as I feel by beginning this adventure.

Walking dogs is a trade of servitude. I am myself from a privileged stock, was well provided for and sent to college. I still know that if needed, I will have help though I prefer and am expected to be independent. I believe that due to my comfortable upbringing, I have become increasingly intrigued about the lives of the less privileged. The jobs within service have an endearing quality to them. Though I do feel the occasional pangs of resentment for those who earn their weekends off, I also feel grateful that these people endure their grind that the people of service are able to fill in the gaps. Those in service are the mortar between the bricks of society, and we feel our interconnected and bonding strength as it flows through the walls of normalcy.

The dogs themselves are of course oblivious to these social nuances and are able to provide the unconditional warmth which allows the job to be enjoyable. I will surely look back upon the many lonely days spent alongside my unspeaking companions and the unspeaking humans that surrounded me as I walked in Boston.

When I think of California, I with warm. I think lightheartedness, possibly to the point of shallowness. I think of gigantic white windmills, of the ocean, and an arid land. I think Frontier, and I think of the unfulfilled hopes of those who once migrated there in search of a brighter future. I think of newer times when I think of California.